Me pondering what the future will bring 😀

I see so often that bloggers only tend to show the positive side of their travels and seeing constant updates of beautiful food and amazing landscapes may be great there is always two sides to every story, In my travel blog I want to share the ups and the downs with you guys.

So according to the timer on this site it has been 35 days since I left Montreal and everything to do with my old life behind to travel Latin America.I initially tried to convince myself that the reason I left to travel was because I really wanted to go travel and explore the world and that it was the perfect time in my life to do it. But that’s not entirely true.

I left because I wanted to escape the reality of everyday life

As I mentioned in my very first blog post on this site I came out of a 8 year relationship and lost my job before deciding to go traveling. Those few months before traveling would have to be by far the hardest and worst I have gone through in my entire life. I went from thinking I had everything in life figured out relatationship wise, hobby wise and career wise.

But within 3 months I found myself uninterested in all my previous hobbies, tired of my career and not only having lost the love of my life but also my best friend at the same time. It’s been really hard being on my own for the first time in 8 years.

However looking back at it now it was something that had to happen and I know that we will both be better people because of this and I wish her all of the happiness in the world and hope she finds everything she is searching for.

Over the last few months I have discovered a lot about myself. I have picked up new hobbies such as photography and writing this blog which is great. They help me bring purpose to my travels and I love sharing these amazing locations and experiences with my family, friends and fellow readers.

I’ve rediscovered my love for the outdoors, exercise and hiking.

Plus most importantly I found my love for traveling, meeting new people and experiencing new and different cultures. Looking back over the last month of my life and all of the people I have met, places I have been and experiences I have had it feels almost hard to believe that this is reality. Even right now as I write this I am sitting in a deck chair at the Earth Lodge in the mountains above Antigua in Guatemala on a beautiful sunny afternoon looking down over the valley and surrounding volcano’s I should be the happiest guy in the world right?

But unfortunately the reality is that I’m not

Even just saying that make’s me feel like i’m ungrateful and need to get over myself. I know people that would give anything to be living the life I am right now and don’t get me wrong I am enjoying it but at the same time I feel that I’m not enjoying this as much as I should because I didn’t come traveling for the same reasons most people do.

I realize now that the reason I went traveling was that I couldn’t take living on the same way I did before. I thought that I needed to abandon all of my hobbies all of my friends, all of my career aspirations in the pursuit of this new version of myself.

I guess a small part of me hoped that if I moved away from Montreal leaving all of my belongings and cutting all ties that bound me there I would feel free and wouldn’t think about my Ex and would be able to more easily move on and while traveling has done a great job in distracting me there still isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about her or all of the things I have left behind in Montreal.

After traveling for a month I have found myself longing for things that when I was at home I so easily took for granted.

  • I miss my friends and having a deeper connection with people. Sure I have made more friends than I can count in the past month of traveling and they are all great people but with traveling these tend to frequently just be surface encounters and you find yourself parting ways within a few days. I miss having those deep connections with people.
  • I miss the familiarity and routine of going to the same place for a cup of coffee or going to my regular boot camp meet up or even the simple things like being able to watch my weekly favorite tv series.
  • I miss being able to connect with locals. Being in spanish speaking countries not being able to speak the language makes it very hard to connect with locals and makes it hard to even do a simple task such as finding a certain thing at the store you are looking for.
  • I miss having my own personal space, having my own room where I can wake up without having other people in the dorm room talking or rustling their backpacks at all hours of the night.
  • And lastly the thing I miss the most is having someone to be close with, someone that fully understands me, someone to share all of the experiences this world has to offer.
Don’t get me wrong I am by no mean’s miserable. Everyday I wake up and am greeted by endless possibilities and new exciting locations and new people. I feel so privileged to have the opportunity to travel and I know in the future when I look back at this moment of my life I will look back at it as one of the greatest and most character shaping moments of my life.
I really am trying to enjoy the moment and not worry about my travel budget (Which im $300 over already Ouch) or the future  and what I will do when the money runs out,which is really hard for me to do.  I can’t stop it entering my mind. At this moment I don’t think I want to travel forever.I have been thinking more lately that I want to try working in UK but as a lot of my friends know I have been very indecisive of late.
I don’t know what I want to do, where I want to live. Everyday I have to try to remind myself to enjoy the moment and hope that fate will intervene and I will find that thing that I am looking for that makes me feel like my life has purpose again. Whether that be a place, A person A career or a passion I do not know.
But until that moment I think traveling  is the best thing for me and while it might be true most days I wake up not knowing where I want to go or even why I am at a certain place, I think that’s all part of the journey and the discovery process. I’m not sure If I will ever find what it is I am looking for or whether I will come to the realization that what I was searching for was right in my own backyard the entire time.
Regardless I aim to get up everyday with a smile on my face and continue to experience all that Latin America has to offer and even if I don’t find what it is I am searching for I will return back to Australia with memories, experiences and friends that will last a lifetime.